The Struggle Is Real: Why Networking Feels So Awkward

You squeal into the networking event on two tires, already running five minutes late. You pop a Tic Tac, grab your business cards, walk through the door and think, Okay. I made it.

And then comes the question nobody really prepares you for: Now what?

You scan the room hoping you recognize someone while trying to figure out who you should talk to and how to walk into a conversation that’s already happening. Eventually, you find someone, introduce yourself and settle into the safe stuff: where you’re from, what you do, the Astros, the kids or maybe your latest vacation.

Then the conversation hits that awkward little pause. Do you keep making small talk? Do you try to steer it toward business? Do you politely escape and go find someone else?

Most people land in one of two places. They stay in small talk way too long, or they try to pivot toward business and it feels forced. Neither feels particularly natural, and after enough experiences like that, it’s easy to decide you’re just not very good at networking.

But I don’t think that’s usually the problem.

We Tell People to Network. We Rarely Teach Them How.

Think about how often professionals are told they need to “get out there.” Build relationships. Grow their network. Make connections. Bring in business.

Those expectations sound reasonable until you realize how little instruction usually comes with them. Somewhere along the way, we decided people should instinctively know how to walk into a room full of strangers, start meaningful conversations and turn those conversations into professional relationships.

So people guess. They wonder whether they talked about themselves too much or not enough. They leave with a handful of business cards but very little idea of who they should follow up with or whether any of those conversations actually mattered.

And guessing doesn’t build confidence. It usually does the opposite.

The Awkwardness May Not Be a Personality Problem

One of the biggest misconceptions about networking is that some people are simply “good at it.” They’re outgoing, charismatic or naturally comfortable talking to strangers, so of course networking comes easily to them.

Personality can certainly influence how you approach a room, but being outgoing and being strategic are not the same thing. You can be the most social person at an event and still leave without building a single meaningful business relationship.

The real difference is often clarity. When you know why you’re there, who you want to meet, what you want to learn and what a productive conversation actually looks like, networking starts to feel very different.

You’re no longer walking into a room hoping something good happens. You have a purpose.

Small Talk Isn’t the Enemy

I’m not against talking about the Astros. Small talk helps us find common ground, get comfortable with each other and remember that relationships are between actual people, not business cards.

The problem is when the conversation never goes any deeper.

You can know someone for years and still have no idea what a great referral looks like for them, what kind of clients they want to meet or what they’re trying to grow. You may like each other. You may genuinely enjoy talking to each other. But if neither person understands the other’s business, it’s difficult for that relationship to create professional opportunity.

The answer isn’t to force a sales pitch into the conversation. It’s learning how to become genuinely curious about someone’s business.

Ask what they’re working toward. Ask what they’re seeing in their industry. Ask what kind of client they would love to meet this year. Those questions move the conversation forward without making it feel transactional.

Networking Confidence Is Built, Not Born

The people who look comfortable networking aren’t necessarily more outgoing than everyone else. Often, they simply have a better understanding of what they’re doing and enough practice that it no longer feels foreign.

They know how to enter a conversation and how to ask questions that uncover something meaningful. They can recognize when there’s enough connection to continue the relationship, and they also know when it’s perfectly okay to say, “It was great meeting you,” and move along.

That kind of confidence isn’t reserved for extroverts, natural salespeople or the person who somehow knows everybody in the room. It comes from having a framework, practicing it and understanding that networking is a skill.

So if networking has always felt uncomfortable, don’t be too quick to decide you’re bad at it. You may have simply been expected to do something nobody ever actually taught you how to do.

The struggle is real. But with clarity, purpose and a little practice, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Let's continue the conversation.

Connect with me on my Facebook business page, Stacy Harris Consulting, for practical networking tips, fresh insights, and encouragement to help you grow your business through meaningful relationships.

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